Finding Strength in the Storm: Identifying strengths and building resilience

As many of us know through our life experience, facing adversity is not a matter of if, but when. Whether it's a personal loss, a professional setback or the quiet battles we fight within - selfesteem, addictions... - challenges are inevitable. As a counsellor, I often witness the incredible strength people uncover in the face of difficulty—strength they didn’t always know they had. This strength, when nurtured and supported, becomes resilience.

But what exactly is resilience and how can we cultivate it—not just in moments of crisis, but as a way of life?

Resilience is definitely not about being unaffected by hardship or suppressing emotions. Instead it’s about the ability to adapt, recover and grow in the face of adversity. We don’t escape pain, but we learn to navigate it, using both our internal strengths and external resources to move through what we're facing.

Often, we look for solutions outside ourselves when facing hardship. While support systems are vital, one of the most empowering steps we can take is to identify and embrace our unique internal strengths.

These might look quite unexpected- just yesterday, I was looking at a list of strengths with a client and we agreed that we wouldn't even have recognised some of the words as strengths! Compassion - for yourself and others - curiosity, self-awareness...

When it comes to resilience, there are practical strategies you can use to build this strength.

Practice Mindful Self-Compassion. When facing difficulty, we often become our own harshest critic. Learning to speak to yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend is a foundational step in resilience.

Stay Connected. Resilience does not mean going it alone. Relationships—with family, friends, a counsellor or support group—can provide necessary grounding and perspective.

Seek Meaning in Adversity When the Time is Right. This doesn’t mean everything happens for a reason but rather, we can often find reason within what happens. Exploring meaning doesn’t diminish our pain but it can give it a shape that helps us move forward.

Resilience is not a trait reserved for a few—it’s a skill, a mindset and a process that anyone can cultivate. As a counsellor, it’s a privilege to witness people uncover their strengths, reclaim their voice and write a different story for themselves.

If you’re going through a difficult time, I encourage you to pause, breathe, and ask: What strength is showing up in me right now, even if quietly? You might be surprised by the answer.

And remember, resilience is not about bouncing back to who you were—it’s about growing into who you’re becoming.

If you're interested in exploring your own resilience or would like support in identifying your strengths, feel free to reach out here. Counselling can be a safe space to begin that journey.

With you and for you,

Remember to check out my online store of helpful downloadable resources 🤩. You can find them here.